What are the harms that affect your child when you compare him to others?
Good wishes and wishes. However, the method used by the parents can be harmful to the child, and give adverse negative results for every mother or father who wants their child to be the best ever. Both parents want their children to achieve every success, all of these are exactly the same. Therefore, we will review in this article the harms and disadvantages of comparing children, whether they are brothers, relatives or friends. Let’s get to know the disadvantages of your child compared to other children.
Why shouldn’t you not compare your child to other children?
Simply that each child is an independent entity, not a repetitive copy of anyone. As each child has special features, flaws, talents and abilities. No child should be compared in terms of his achievements, successes, and even behaviors with any other child. Rather, the comparison should be between him and himself. We should compare his current achievements with previous vacations. If he is moving forward, he must be rewarded. Even if it is in decline, we must encourage it and ask it for more. Here are the disadvantages of your child compared to other children:
5 downsides to comparing children to each other:
First: Lack of self-esteem and lack of self-confidence:
When we compare our child to other children, he begins to feel that he is not good enough to win our trust and admiration. Thus, he wonders about his personal value. Then he begins to doubt his abilities, as he cannot achieve what other children with whom he is compared can achieve. This lowers your child’s self-confidence, and thus affects your child’s mental health and entire future life.
Second, the pressure on him increases dramatically:
When you compare your child to other children, it increases the burden on him. He always feels that he is falling short and has to make an extra effort to get your appreciation. This always makes him feel Alahsa and fatigue. For example, if your child can get better marks in school, you should not follow the comparison method, but rather follow the method of stimulating and rewarding to help him in that.
Third: Killing and killing his feelings of contentment:
Constantly looking at other children and comparing them to your own, this may lead to the destruction of your security and inner satisfaction. Then you will start to wonder about your child’s capabilities, even about your abilities as a mother, and about your success as a parent in raising children. You have to accept your child with its advantages, whether positive or negative. You can improve the negatives in scientific ways and be patient with it.
Fourth: Develop a sense of hatred and jealousy in your child:
If you keep comparing your child with other children, this breeds and cultivates jealousy and hatred in your child towards other children. It begins with hostile behavior towards other children. This is a translation of the feeling of anger from them as a result of comparison with them. You can prevent it by not comparing it with others.
Fifth: Comparison leads to his regression even in the tasks he masters:
When you keep comparing your child to others, his sense of uselessness will control him, no matter how much effort he makes, others will get better results from him, and they will receive praise and praise. The child then prefers not to try and does not make an effort from the beginning, and receives and leaves the whole thing. But the most dangerous thing is that he may start moving away from you, and start closing in on himself. He does not like to sit with you and talk to you, because you always talk about others and praise them.
in conclusion :
As we can see, comparing children has a negative effect, and the most dangerous thing in that is that it generates a feeling of negativity between the child and his mother, and he begins to move away from her.
Motherhood is one of the difficult tasks in life, and there is no perfect mother without mistakes, but we must know that we are the first teacher for our children. They believe what we say and turn to us when feeling despair and frustration. Being a mother, being the safe haven and refuge from which your child derives positive energy. I always feel that he is special and successful.